The Undeniable Reaction to Attraction By Veronica Hendrix

From InTheKnowChicago.com

He reached out his hand and slowly grasped the cup of iced Caffé Americano from her hand. His strong fingers lightly caressed her delicate hand as she demurely released the cup from her grasp. He paused a minute. His eyes danced as he searched her effervescent face. She smiled coyly and said, "Thank you." He winked at the charming young Barista, then gently pressed his business card into the palm of her hand, and left the coffee house with a swaggering gait and a heart filled with excitement about the possibilities.


I don't know if the two star crossed admirers knew I was watching their exchange, as I sat in the coffee house pretending to read the newspaper. They were totally oblivious to me or anyone else around them.
It was refreshing to witness the flame of delight spontaneously ignite, that thing that happens when attraction and fascination collide in an instant. It was enchanting and made me glow with thoughts about some of my most memorable chance meetings.

It also got me thinking, about the dynamics of attraction and what causes us to be either attracted or attractive to someone.

Attraction is completely subjective. What is attractive or what induces interest or delight in the eyes and heart of one person can be totally disinteresting or unstimulating to another…
Attraction is also dynamic. It changes as we evolve. The kind of fella that used to bedazzle me twenty years ago with his bravado, brawn and chiseled good looks doesn't raise a goose bump these days. Today, he has to have working capital - which I define as intellectual, altruistic, pecuniary and otherwise - to make my eyes glisten and get me on the dance floor.
In a sermon about relationships, the pastor of my church underscored how important he felt it was for men, as they evolve, to amass a diverse portfolio of magnetic attributes because he said, "women find it very difficult to follow a parked car." Amen and amen. And since he said that, I've shared this with my two sons regularly, just to challenge them to grow…
Lastly, attraction is an organic and chemical based response, that is until it gets edited by logic and higher reasoning - you know, rational analysis.

In fact, there is a cocktail of chemicals in our brains that ignites our attraction and entices us to fall in love. You probably have heard of some of them such as adrenalin and cortisol which makes you start to sweat, causes your heart to race, and your throat to get dry and scratchy when you encounter someone you are attracted to.
Then there's
dopamine which stimulates a desire to be with the one whom you are attracted to and it gives you an incredible rush of energy, diminishing the need for sleeping or eating…

And finally there's oxytocin, known as the cuddle or attachment hormone. Scientists believe it is the hormone which deepens our feelings of attachment and makes couples feel much closer, especially after they have had sex. The belief is that the more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond and attachment becomes because of the increased presence of oxytocin.

There are a myriad of triggers that send these chemicals pumping through your veins. Like a welcoming smile, a shapely figure, an intellectual wit, inquisitive eyes, a virile stance, a humorous quip, a subtle glance, a soft spoken greeting, a confident gaze, a well turned phrase, a heartfelt laugh, just to mention a few. However, researchers have found that most people are first induced by visual triggers, such as body language or physical attributes, which stimulates their interest, followed by the resonance of a person's voice, then finally by what person is actually saying.

They also say it takes between 90 seconds to just four minutes for an individual to decide if they are truly attracted to someone once they aggregate all of these factors within moments of their initial encounter. That's some quick and hearty high figuring going on in our brains in a matter of minutes. The chance encounter between the charming gentleman and the lovely Barista was a wonderful illustration of the dynamics of attraction at work…

 

 

Attraction is completely subjective

Attraction is also dynamic

Lastly, attraction is an organic and chemical based response

a cocktail of chemicals in our brains that ignites our attraction

adrenalin

cortisol

dopamine

oxytocin

(Scientists believe it (oxytocin) is the hormone which deepens our feelings of attachment and makes couples feel much closer, especially after they have had sex. The belief is that the more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond and attachment becomes because of the increased presence of oxytocin. )
triggers

researchers have found that most people are first induced by visual triggers

body language or physical attributes

the resonance of a person's voice

finally by what person is actually saying

between 90 seconds to just four minutes for an individual to decide

once they aggregate all of these factors within moments of their initial encounter